Monday, January 24, 2011

One of the Hard Ones

So my goal to "turn jealousy into thoughts of blessings" was bound to be a hard one. I know I'm not alone (or at least I hope not!) in thinking that jealousy is a green monster that does indeed bite us all.  I've been there a lot, especially in the past semester which is why I added it to the goal list. 

And I've actually made progress! (Do I hear any gasps?!)

My best friend, for the sake of cybersake, let's call him Juan. I have known Juan since last March.  He goes to Millersville and he's one of the greatest friends I've ever had.  He teaches me so much and he's a bright spot in my life.  Naturally, because of his great personality, I have developed a bit of a crush on him. We've discussed our feelings and at the time when we talked (last Spring semester), there was not going to be anything between us.

Fast forward to this semester.  He has a girlfriend-they've been together since the summer.  She transferred to Millersville this semester.  It's his last one before he graduates.  Of course I'd love to have him all to myself this semester but no-his girlfriend (let's call her KiKi) is here, occupying lots of time. 

(I'm sure you're saying-well jeez, she still sounds bitter and jealous. So much for a resolution).  But you'd be wrong.  Because this past Saturday, I took KiKi to a women's retreat that I attend monthly.  I picked her up, sat with her, and then drove her back. 

And I enjoyed it. I told God that I'd turn my negative thoughts for her away for the day.  And I did.  I prayed for her and Juan and made it a point to show love even when it was hard. 

I think it'll still be tough, but hey-progress is progress no matter how small.

Keep on keeping on!

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you. I've found myself to have some jealous tendencies as well. They've been acting up in my life lately. If you ever want to e-mail/process any of your thoughts, I'm a listening ear going though some (potentially) similar things.